Sun sun.

What a beautiful day!! Plus 16 degrees and sunny! I soaked up a bit walking the doggies and waxing my old car (to resell).
Spent part of the day at the organic market, I could spend my life savings ($0) ok, my entire bank account in there. I just love it! I find shopping and preparing healthy food a hobby now. Almost empowering, because it is control I have over my health. I am really going full force now and I am guessing I will be almost vegetarian by the fall. I am keen on making my diet a 80/20 split of veg to meat. I feel the difference when I eat whole foods, veggies and I have cut out a lot of dairy (never all, I love cheese) and meat and pretty much all convenience foods with preservatives. If it has weird ingredients that I don't know, I won't buy it or eat it (except for the occasional mini egg here and there :) I am hoping to stick to this way of life and continue to improve it even. I think I may be addicted to healthy eating! Mind you, I was like this at my diagnosis for a few months and fell a bit off the bandwagon...so I don't want to jynx myself!! Soon, I will add exercise to the mix and in a year I should be the woman I have always wanted to be. HEALTHY and EMPOWERED!
I took my pooch Shabba to the vet today. Looks like we were working him to hard, by throwing his ball down the hill for him to fetch. He is suffering from some sport-related injuries...poor boy. I will massage him later and he should be better soon.
I put on my IPOD and waxed my car (to sell it). Looks good and it was beautiful soaking up the sun while I did it. I needed that! When I was done, I didn't want to stop hearing my Wayne Dyer, so I went into our new trailer we bought. I just love it. I just opened cupboards and layed on the bed and thought of what I could pack it with for camping next month!! I also prayed.
I have been debating quitting chemo.
Something in me tells me it's time to stop. But I am scared that something is just me wanting it to be over with....on the other hand, I haven't felt healthier, I am in control of my diet and I have energy and am ready to get back to yoga and Qigong...I just feel like I don't need the chemo.
And if I don't need anymore chemo, then having it is only harmful to me. I mean, it gave me asthma for god's sake! So anyway, I prayed, and asked for an answer, a sign of sorts. Something to help me make my decision!! Heaven forbid, I quit now and a cell gets away and plants itself somewhere, I would never forgive myself....
When I came back in the house I had an email from my Qigong healer. It was a warning to me that lots of naturopathic healers are ripping people off...he wrote about a local woman with breast cancer that the doctors can't cure and the naturopaths drained her of her life savings and now won't treat her because she has no money. He, of course is treating her for free...and seems to be making progress. I don't know if this is the sign I asked for, but it seemed like good timing. He doesn't email me many personal emails anymore....hmmm....
All in all, I am just waiting to hear back from the BCCA in Kelowna. I have a consult with my plastic surgeon next week and I am trying to get in to see my oncologist (the specialist) the same day. I just want to talk to her about my allergic reaction and possibly quitting chemo early seeing as I am not taking the chemo I am supposed to be anyway. I mean I AM cutting both my breasts off too, I think that allows me to cut out 2 chemos early, especially since I have no signs of spreading!! We'll see if I can convince her of that and then I will make my decision.
Last thing I wanted to write about was my massage yesterday. I went for a massage and I was told I couldn't have one. I don't know if this is the universal reaction but she told me that during chemo, having a massage can spread the cancer (if any left) by pushing it into and around the lymph nodes etc...kinda makes sense, but I wonder if this is true!?? Anyway, I had a 30min foot and scalp massage instead and it was awesome!!
Off to cook Mexican Lasagna!! YUMMY!!
Ps...My friend D posted this video on Facebook...it is a MUST WATCH!! Please watch it, it's powerful!!
PPs. I apologize to everyone for all the cancer related posts on facebook lately...I don't mean to bum you all out, it's just a big, inspiring part of my life right now....I am sure it is getting old for some of you.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crXaLu9Ecmg