Spent the day yesterday watching my sun play two baseball games in the warm sun.
Got the sunburn to prove it!! (Just a little one)
It was a lovely day and I filled up on my vitamin D!! Yahoo! Just cause I am not allowed to take vitamins, doesn't mean I won't find a way!! Take that chemo!!
Wednesday is my next and final chemo. Different thoughts run through my head from excitement, to nervousness (as always) to fear about my treatment coming to an end.
I mean, once it is all done, then what? It's like they push you out into the world "There you go kid, have fun waiting to see if it comes back or not! Hopefully we got it all, you'll find out soon enough!"
I mean, I know it sounds negative, but realistically that's the case!!
You have to (and I do) believe that you are cured and go on living like you will live forever, but the cloud will always creep in from time to time and remind you of what you have been through and what is a possibility for you. It's reality. A sick mind game no one should have to be a part of.
In a way I guess I am glad I have a year on Herceptin, because it makes me feel like I am still being treated (I am) and it's still a little army left, fighting off the leftover cancer if any....

My friend K in Vancouver, one of my "cancer friends" has just finished her 2nd treatment of 8...she is losing her hair now and is going thru the rough times....I wish I could lend her my eyes to see that is gets better...it's so hard when you are in a dark hole and can't see a way out. I hurt for her. It makes me angry.....every time I see anyone go thru it, because I know how helpless they feel and it just isn't fair. I hate cancer for this.

But. Like I have said before....if we beat the cancer, if we really beat it....it will be the greatest journey we could have ever taken, as we will come out stronger and wiser and clearer than ever before. So we will take our lemons and make lemonade....that's all we can do!