Dream Creator

Dream Creator
My photo
Just a small town Canadian dreamer... This started as the diary of a young woman's experience with breast cancer and continues 5 years later as the diary of a woman, like many other, who has decided to take her lemons and make lemonade. **If reading this blog for the purpose of learning about my breast cancer experience, PLEASE START AT THE OLDEST POST (October 2009) AND WORK YOUR WAY FORWARD**

Monday, October 10, 2011

Life Lost

Life Lost

Last week we lost another beautiful soul to breast cancer.
Brenda was a 30 something young woman whom I went to high school with.
Months into my own diagnosis, I was referred to her blog and was shocked by the fact that this collegue indeed had been fighting breast cancer as well.
Brenda was diagnosed in 2008 (a year before me) and had been blogging almost 2 years by the time I found her blog.
Having been diagnosed with an aggresive stage 4 metastatic breast cancer, her blog was very powerful.
I didn't know Brenda intimatley in high school but I always knew I liked her. Everyone did.
She was a beautiful girl who would shine her genuine smile all down the halls of our small town school.
She was the epitomy of good.
She played sports, accepted everyone, did well in school and was adored by many.

Brenda's Blog played a big part in my breast cancer journey and my healing.
I especially appreciated her strong faith in God and her stubborness (in which I can truly relate) Though I have never considered myself a religious person, I have always believed. And when I faced my own mortality last year, God really made himself present and he became impossible to ignore, so when Brenda speaks of her God and her relationship with him, I know we are speaking of the same being.
Brenda continued to get bad news after bad news and though she felt pain, she never backed down. She always stood strong to cancer and focused on the positive.
I tried to imitate that behaviour throughout my journey and continue to use her strength to motivate me on the tough days.
When I read that Brenda was losing her battle with cancer a month or so ago, my heart sank.
I knew it was always a possibility as her chemos kept letting her down but my heart ached.
My heart ached that Brenda had met the love of her life but would never be able to have children.
My heart ached that all she really wanred was to have children.
My heart ached for her husband, her sister and her friends and family.
It just seemed like such a travesty.
So, I sat, angry and sad....and all I could do, all I had to do, was use Brenda herself to make sense of the situation.

Looking at the picture from a completely different angle I realized that maybe I could look at this situation as a gift to Brenda.
The strongest connection, the most powerful source of love and light in Brenda's life is God...and now she gets to dive into that.
Brenda and her God, hand in hand for eternity.
She will be rewarded and at peace.
No more chemo, no more fear, no more pain.
Just love and light.
To one day be joined by her family and friends.

It is a sad loss, but I will always look to Brenda to inspire me.
Her life was lived with class and beauty and the light of her shines on,

brendas blog