Dream Creator

Dream Creator
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Just a small town Canadian dreamer... This started as the diary of a young woman's experience with breast cancer and continues 5 years later as the diary of a woman, like many other, who has decided to take her lemons and make lemonade. **If reading this blog for the purpose of learning about my breast cancer experience, PLEASE START AT THE OLDEST POST (October 2009) AND WORK YOUR WAY FORWARD**

Sunday, November 22, 2009


"That's right, BIRFDAY!!!"

I threw my daughter her 6th birthday party today, because I didn't know what was going to lie ahead for me after my surgery on Friday, and her real birthday is on Christmas DAY!!
SO we had a beautiful girlie tea party birthday party...
All the girls dressed up in their frills and I decorated the table with as many doilie's and silverware as I could find and called in the troops!
It was a grand success and I felt like Martha Stewart for a day, so everybody wins!
This week coming (Friday) is the scheduled date for my lumpectomy...I have to go one hour to a hospital for the surgery which sucks cause it is a disgusting town (sorry and no offense to those of you who live there) that makes me feel unhealthy. There is a GI-NORMOUS lead smelter smack in the middle of the town, just oozing out it's sick onto everything. I'll go, oh I'll go, but it will be kicking and screaming!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Blah, November in Canada...

It has been the shits lately! The sky never seems to fully reach it's daily brightness....I woke up today at 11:00 am and it looked like the sun was already starting to set!! It's cold and WET and dirty out there...the only good thing? It smells like campfire and rainy pine needles....mmmmm
Today is my consultation for my surgery, I don't know why I am excited because nothing is really going to happen, but I am looking forward to more answers!
I was browsing on THE BEST real estate website last night, my sweet friend and her husband own...not sure if I am allowed to plug it or not...oh! what the heck!! www.mayanliving.com IS THE BEST! Especially the service!! But while I was searching, I just started laughing!! It isn't their fault, and I hope if they ever read this, they don't take offense...There were some of the FUNNIEST decorating ideas I had ever seen!! I am NOT slamming Mexico, because Mexico is my SOUL, but, I was just in a funny mood and I thought I'd share some of what made me laugh...keep in mind, the majority of the listings I see are ABSOLUTLEY fantastic!! Can't expect you won't have to do some redecorating for a $30,000 home!!


WOW, I guess in a bathroom, BROWN is the theme!

But this person likes GREEN!!!

That takes A LOT of effort!!

The one below , I am not sure if this picture will help sell it or not...but I guess you want to have the truth as to what you are buying....YIKES!!

Anyways, there are a lot of homes like this in Mexico for sale, and I guess that is why you don't pay too much for your home, ....I must admit though, I had a good laugh!

I'll blog later to fill you in on the appointment...


Saturday, November 14, 2009

Still Waiting....

( Jan.4/10-there are statements in this post that I wish I had never written, maybe a manifestation of sorts?? Though it was true in the moment, I wish I could take it all back)

Well it's been a while since my last blog, so, though not much has changed or happened here lately, I do have a wee bit of catching up to do.
Firstly, Halloween was a success! The kids had a blast and I got one of my favorite homemade candy apples from my husbands old neighbour. YUMMY!!!!
Then we came down with the FLU!!!! First the husband, then the son, then myself.....my daughter and international boy have been spared so far.....not sure if it was the swine, I doubt it though.....
Finally I have an appointment set up for a consultation at the suregeons, for my lumpectomy. I hope I can get in right away for the actual surgery as I just want to know what's ahead of me. You know what the really sad, sick thing is? A deep dirty secret that I have? In a small way, I want it to be cancer. Only because right now, I am hating my life so badly that I would like to have a year off to reflect on important things and decide what I really need in my life to make me happy....I know, I could beat cancer right now in my life, so I am not really afraid, though the treatments aren't pretty and the fear of it coming back as a bigger, badder cancer kind of scares me, but honestly, I feel like I control my health and I just won't allow something to get in the way of what I want.
But what do I want.
I think I want to do some charity work when we move down south. I want to feel like I am making some change in the world. Especially in regards to animals and the eco system. I think Mexico needs me, and I need it just as bad. Regardless, I NEED something to happen in my life, I NEED and epiphany, I am on the brink, I can feel it and I am ready with arms wide open.
"COME ON!!!"

Sunday, November 1, 2009

"Halloween and Sunny Beaches"

I Love Sundays (when I don't work)
Last night was Halloween. What a blast. I love Halloween...fall leaves, running around in the dark, dressing up in costume, endless supply of candy...it goes on....
We took the kids out to live vicariously through them and create memories. It was a success! After the best candy apples in the world (from an old neighbor who has been making them for years) My husband and I sent the kids home with a babysitter and headed out to a party.
We drank much to much, laughed so hard we cried and generally had an awesome time.
Today we pay.
I have spent my entire day so far reading blogs (I love my new find "Refried Dreams") and planning my future in Mexico. I figure in 4 years we will have $20,000 of savings, not to mention equity in our home (God! I hope!) so we should be in good shape to maka da move. I can't wait. I just can't wait. I read an awesome post on "Hammock Musing in Merida" (this guy always puts into words what I am thinking) here is the statement of why I want to move to Mexico

"I went to Mexico because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." -Thoreau

YES! That sums it up!! Let the living begin!

Well, off to....do absolutely nothing but day dream all day.
peace, love, and Mexico.

lump sat alone in a boggy marsh, totally motionless except for her heart....

Well just waiting til Tuesday to find out the results of my "lump" ultrasound. I freaked out for a day when I spoke to the clinic about my results....the fact that they wouldn't tell me over the phone (I know, I know they just don't) and that they told me they needed me for a 3o min appointment made me panic. I mean, if it's nothing, couldn't they just tell me that or let me pop in for a 5 min appointment to be granted the good news? So I panicked. HARD.
Everyone kept telling me it didn't mean anything and "not to worry" which really PISSES me off. I mean, what a cop out! "Oh! OK, I won't worry, right, thanks for the great advice, why didn't I think of that....not worrying, good idea." It's just a cop-out easy thing to say when they can't think of anything else to say. But I know it is meant with good intentions, fair enough.
Anywho, I then got online and looked up images of ultrasound results both cancerous and non-cancerous, and much to my surprise I felt my first sense of relief in 2 weeks! It "looks" like my cyst is a "simple" cyst which means it is a solid circle with a sharp outline and is almost always cancer-free. Now, I don't know this for sure but I got a good look at my ultrasound and when I compared what I saw to the pics on the internet, it looked good. So I am gonna go with that until Tuesday at 1:30 when I get my results. :)