You know what has really been bothering me lately? Something. And, since this cancer thing started I have found it easy to let go of any grudges or issues that may have, in the past, bothered me for weeks. I have learned it is not healthy to hold onto bad feelings. Plus, it has been easy to let go of them because I have a view of what matters in life and what"just" doesn't.
But something bothers me and I can't get rid of the resentment.
I have really learned who my true friends are during this time. I am amazed who has gone out of their way to help us, or send a card, or even just speak well thought out words that have more meaning than "you'll be fine."
I cannot believe that some of "who I thought were.." my closest friends, and family members are pretty much no where to be found. It's crazy! I try to tell myself, they just don't know what to say...but that's crap! I even have some people who have literally said to me "I feel so horrible, but I am at a loss of what to say.." and I respect and appreciate that. At least that's truth! Plus, I can relate, I have been that person before. But to say nothing, never call me, never check in...nothing? Well, I guess this is a bigger learning curve than I originally thought. But it is sad. But I need to let go of it.
It is what it is, and I cannot change it.
Maybe there is a good reason, a reason more than they don't really give a shit about me.
It isn't my problem to own. It is their issue.
I will try, to let go.
But something bothers me and I can't get rid of the resentment.
I have really learned who my true friends are during this time. I am amazed who has gone out of their way to help us, or send a card, or even just speak well thought out words that have more meaning than "you'll be fine."
I cannot believe that some of "who I thought were.." my closest friends, and family members are pretty much no where to be found. It's crazy! I try to tell myself, they just don't know what to say...but that's crap! I even have some people who have literally said to me "I feel so horrible, but I am at a loss of what to say.." and I respect and appreciate that. At least that's truth! Plus, I can relate, I have been that person before. But to say nothing, never call me, never check in...nothing? Well, I guess this is a bigger learning curve than I originally thought. But it is sad. But I need to let go of it.
It is what it is, and I cannot change it.
Maybe there is a good reason, a reason more than they don't really give a shit about me.
It isn't my problem to own. It is their issue.
I will try, to let go.
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