Dream Creator

Dream Creator
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Just a small town Canadian dreamer... This started as the diary of a young woman's experience with breast cancer and continues 5 years later as the diary of a woman, like many other, who has decided to take her lemons and make lemonade. **If reading this blog for the purpose of learning about my breast cancer experience, PLEASE START AT THE OLDEST POST (October 2009) AND WORK YOUR WAY FORWARD**

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

What the *@#! ...(the "can I trust my health care professional" edition)

So we went to Kelowna this weekend....mainly because I wanted a consultation with my General surgeon. Let me explain....
I am going to have a bilateral (both boobies) mastectomy with reconstruction, after my chemo is over (say Junish?) this requires 2 surgeons, a general (he removes the boobs) and a plastic (he rebuilds the boobs) they work together as a team, the surgery I am looking at is about 8-9 hrs long, but I come out all brand new, no more old rotten breast tissue, new perkier but natural boobs and a tummy tuck. I need a good team and this guy is good!!
So I cruised over to his office from or hotel, on Monday morning. My husband didn't come with me because my daughter had been up all night with the flu and they needed rest. I am starting to realize he is my good luck charm as I get the bad news when he isn't present.
First off, the good....my surgeon is AWESOME!! Not only was he highly recommended, but I just loved him. He has a great energy right off the bat! He was confident and smart, and funny, comfortable and personable. It was like sitting with a good friend who is completely capable of performing a surgery, and talking reasonably, in layman's terms about it. I felt good about him, I still do!
However....BUT!......
Yah, the bad news...
This Doc, had all my path reports and exam results on his computer and he read them all and when I sat in his office and chatted, he basically realized what I had been told.
He interupted and dropped the ball....
I had been living the last 3 months (since my last surgery) believing, having been told, that I had 5 lymph nodes removed from my breast/armpit and they were tested for cancer and they were all free of cancer. This is major, because the lymph nodes are the main traveling channel for cancer to spread through the body. And since my cancer "want's to metastisize and spread" knowing the 5 closest were clear of cancer made me feel good about things.
New Doc told me this info was not true. He told me that they removed 5 clumps (that were acting like lymph nodes) but it ended up only one was a lymph node and the others were clumps of fatty tissue!! So I only really had one lymph node removed and proved free of cancer. This is not good. The worst part is that the other surgeon from Trail, sat me in his office, after Christmas and told me to my face that there were 5 nodes removed and they were all clear. Soooo, did he not properly read the report or was he misleading me to make me feel more confident? Either way I have been living with false information. My family doctor even told me the same thing!! Honestly, I am not impressed with either of them. My new surgeon showed me on the path report where is states that the "nodes" weren't nodes at all but fatty tissue. Other than the samples being labelled
Sentinel Node #1-5 on the report (which IS misleading) it straight up says, that the sample was mainly fatty tissue not resembling a lymph node.
Now, I still feel positive about things over all, and the mis-reading of the results doesn't CHANGE my current treatment as they are giving me the harshest chemo I can take, but how am I supposed to trust the system, I mean these guys have really fucked things up along the way. If you can't even read a path report properly, why were you cutting me open and and diagnosing me?? Scary stuff man.
Since I have been put in the hands of my oncologists and new surgeons, I have felt confident about my care, but it is really scary seeing the easy mistakes these guys are making out there. These are the people we throw ourselves at in mercy and beg them to save our lives!
Needless to say and make a long story short, my new Doc is going to remove about 7 nodes when I have my mastectomy. They will check all the breast tissue and nodes for any cancer. Until then, lets just hope the original cancer hasn't or isn't spreading through my body. That's how you die from breast cancer. It plants itself in your brain, or bones or liver....
There's a fine line between staying positive and trying to not be blind. I want to manifest good things in my body, but I don't want to ignore a problem that may be there...waiting for me to notice and fix!
Good thing I am going in for chemo #3 today, this all makes it a little more appealing right now!
Light at the end of the tunnel, please stay bright!

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