Dreams Cancer Patients Have.

This is a big topic for me.
I have always been the girl who has fabulous dreams and remembers them.
I have even been able to control my dreams at times, and create beautiful scenarios.
Dreams do change when you are diagnosed with cancer.
At least they have for me.
I have long dreams about me getting my treatments....so boring and tedious.
I have had dreams about me being in my house, living with my cancer, which I do everyday.
Basically most of my dreams are continuations of my normal life, so I never really feel I get an escape.
But it's better than the nightmares.
I have had a few.
I dreamed the other night, actually it was the day I found out my MRI results looked good, the first day I felt like I wasn't going to die from my disease. I dreamed that night that a good friend wrote me a note that said "Megan, I am sorry, but your cancer isn't gone...it has metastisized and spread to your liver, you are terminal, no one knew how to tell you. I will pick you up in an hour to start a new session of treatment." This dream was hard because I fell asleep feeling so positive, so I didn't sign up for a dream like that. When I woke, I wondered if it was a sign?
Early on in my diagnosis, I had nightmares all the time. Dreams of being told I was going to die. they felt so real, and painful. I would wake up crying.
Often I would just have dreams of me being told I had cancer...it felt so real and painful, I would wake up crying, and then realize it wasn't a dream. That was the worst.
I have dreamed of loved ones that have passed, and them talking to me, these dreams are special, I often think they are real. I have read that one of the only ways your dead loved ones can communicate to you is through dreams.
Either way, my dreams have changed. Instead of being a beautiful escape, they are usually quite exhausting.
I look forward to the days where I can be myself again...fully.
Dreamer.