fairly unenventful.

Yup. That was the day in general.
Had a sweet sleep in though and a long dog walk (in the freezing cold).
And my kids both had dental appointments (their 2nd ones ever!)
Lily was so cute lying in the reclining chair with her bib and goggles on...she acted so big. In moments like that I want to cry. My pride pours out of me and then to top it off I have shots of fear that it may be one of my last times seeing her in the dentist chair...I know it's horrible.
But it is so very hard to control. It is a reality to me. It is near impossible to ignore it. I don't know what's worse, the negative thoughts or the stressing over having negative thoughts. I mean it can get so deep, as deep as I created this cancer with my thoughts, or made it grow and spread through my thoughts...my brain hurts most days.
The kids both have great teeth and there is a yummy Mexican dinner in my oven. Mexico, OH Mexico....I need you now more than ever. Once I meet my oncologist I might try to see my schedule I have set up and try to plan a trip....in between? maybe not, but for sure after.... if it were summer here, I could heal and cope a lot easier I know. I would sit in the forest for hours and meditate and bond with the trees and the sounds of the earth. I am good at that. But cold and I do not get along. So I wait. for warmth. for answers. for peace.
Until then? I create my own. Close my eyes and drift.