Turning Corners.
Not in the literal sense, well, I guess that too.
What I mean is that my life right now is solely focused on little improvements and turning corners.
I have had an interesting last few days.
It has been very dark actually.
Life fades in and out of sunny hope to dark helplessness.
It is hard to see the bad when I was laying immobilized in a critical care unit 2 weeks ago, things have improved so much since then. However...
It is hard to see the good, when all I see in the mirror are the effects from cancer, and all I feel is pain and discomfort.
It is hard to be happy when it is summer and everyone is out being inspired and enjoying the world, and I, who used to be the MOST motivated, is stuck inside, with nothing to do that makes me feel valuable. It is hard.
And so last night I cried on my husbands shoulder. It has been a while.
I try to be strong, as I am starting to see the cancer is wearing on him. He has been a trooper but is getting worn out.
But I couldn't help it, I hugged him and cried and it helped.
He hugged me back and it instantly gave me relief and the energy I needed to focus on the good again.
Whether it be 5 minutes more of movement a day, the removal of a bandage, learning to sleep on my side, or and emotional turning point....
it all matters, it is all part of the healing.
I am turning corners, slowly, but I am turning corners nonetheless.
Not in the literal sense, well, I guess that too.
What I mean is that my life right now is solely focused on little improvements and turning corners.
I have had an interesting last few days.
It has been very dark actually.
Life fades in and out of sunny hope to dark helplessness.
It is hard to see the bad when I was laying immobilized in a critical care unit 2 weeks ago, things have improved so much since then. However...
It is hard to see the good, when all I see in the mirror are the effects from cancer, and all I feel is pain and discomfort.
It is hard to be happy when it is summer and everyone is out being inspired and enjoying the world, and I, who used to be the MOST motivated, is stuck inside, with nothing to do that makes me feel valuable. It is hard.
And so last night I cried on my husbands shoulder. It has been a while.
I try to be strong, as I am starting to see the cancer is wearing on him. He has been a trooper but is getting worn out.
But I couldn't help it, I hugged him and cried and it helped.
He hugged me back and it instantly gave me relief and the energy I needed to focus on the good again.
Whether it be 5 minutes more of movement a day, the removal of a bandage, learning to sleep on my side, or and emotional turning point....
it all matters, it is all part of the healing.
I am turning corners, slowly, but I am turning corners nonetheless.
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