Dream Creator

Dream Creator
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Just a small town Canadian dreamer... This started as the diary of a young woman's experience with breast cancer and continues 5 years later as the diary of a woman, like many other, who has decided to take her lemons and make lemonade. **If reading this blog for the purpose of learning about my breast cancer experience, PLEASE START AT THE OLDEST POST (October 2009) AND WORK YOUR WAY FORWARD**

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Surgery Preparation and Distractions

Well if you ever read this blog, you would be quite aware that I have been struggling with great anxiety over my upcoming TRAM FLAP surgery.
This surgery is an 8-10 hr surgery involving 2 surgeons. One removes my breasts, the other gives me a tummy tuck, removes one of my stomach muscles and transplants it onto my chest making new breasts from my belly fat and muscle.
Over the last week, I have come a long way with over coming my fear.
I bought a "Pre Surgery" CD by Martin .L. Rossman M.D and have been meditating with it.
Relaxing and visualizations of my body healing fast and efficiently.
It works so well, that I think I am actually healing my hemorrhoid that I have had for the last 2 months!
I feel a lot more calm, less panic attacks, more peace about it all. At moments, even an excitement about the closure and of course a new body.
It will take a lot of strength to walk into that hospital Wednesday morning, get marked up with a bic marker, knowing it is where my cuts will be, and of course, laying on the metal slab calmly before they knock me out for an entire day.
I will focus on being relaxed and calm as I go under.
I will focus on trusting my body. Trusting that it knows how to react under the knife.
Trusting my vessels to keep the blood away during the cutting and drawing the blood back to the site, once I am sewn back up.
Trusting the surgeons and medical team that have trained their entire lives to aid me in this obstacle.
Trust.
I may or may not blog before I go in to surgery...so if I don't PLEASE, PLEASE pray for me on Tuesday night and Wednesday during the day.
I will post an update at the earliest time possible post-surgery...
<3


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