It's just 10 days until I have my hysterectomy.
"How do I feel about this ?" you ask?
Well, until yesterday, I actually felt fine about it.
Maybe I didn't feel fine.
Maybe I have been keeping myself so busy that I haven't had time to "feel"
I tend to do that a lot in my life.
Well, yesterday, on my way into town, driving along the lake, I had a moment.
I feel really really sad about it.
I don't want to loose more of myself.
I don't want to loose what makes me a woman.
I have already lost my original breasts, and now my hormones and my organs.
It's too much.
When I flip the coin, I am grateful there is an option for me, I am glad I can prevent a (very likely) life threatening disease.
I am blessed to have that chance.
However, as I lay in bed last night, hiding tears from my husband, I can't help but feel like my body has let me down.
I feel sorrow, lost, that yet another peice of me is going to be ripped away...
what will be left?
Only time will tell.
"How do I feel about this ?" you ask?
Well, until yesterday, I actually felt fine about it.
Maybe I didn't feel fine.
Maybe I have been keeping myself so busy that I haven't had time to "feel"
I tend to do that a lot in my life.
Well, yesterday, on my way into town, driving along the lake, I had a moment.
I feel really really sad about it.
I don't want to loose more of myself.
I don't want to loose what makes me a woman.
I have already lost my original breasts, and now my hormones and my organs.
It's too much.
When I flip the coin, I am grateful there is an option for me, I am glad I can prevent a (very likely) life threatening disease.
I am blessed to have that chance.
However, as I lay in bed last night, hiding tears from my husband, I can't help but feel like my body has let me down.
I feel sorrow, lost, that yet another peice of me is going to be ripped away...
what will be left?
Only time will tell.
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