Balance and Fulfillment...the key to Harmony and in turn Happiness.
Sounds easy?
Not really...
I went to my first counseling appointment a couple weeks ago.
She asked me why I was there.
I told her..."Because people told me I should get counseling, it's the responsible thing to do...?"
I didn't really feel like I needed to be there...after all, I have blogged from the start, shared EVERYTHING about my breast cancer experience with WHOMEVER would listen to me and I have had a kick-ass support team of family and friends since the very start! I feel like I rode the waves pretty darn good. BUT, people said I should go, that I wouldn't want to think I was ok and have something sneak up on me down the road that I hadn't dealt with...so I went.
It took my counselor and I a while to figure out what my issue was, what my GOAL was, or in other words what my worst fear was that she could help me with (I guess there needs to be a more specific reason to see a counselor than just having HAD breast cancer).
That issue or "worst fear" turned out to be the fear of going back to who I was "pre-cancer" and not taking what I learned from cancer as a gift and applying it to my life.
Basically, all of those "Ah-ha" moments I had, the ones I excitedly blogged about...seeing the beauty in things, slowing down life and appreciating the little things etc etc...well, my fear is I will forget those things. I will slump back into my old life and lose sight of whats important. I am afraid I will stop feeding my soul. I am afraid I will stop getting to know my kids, I am afraid I will start "fretting" over money again, and weight and stupid things that don't really matter!
I freaked out a bit over this fear, for a little while...and then doors started opening for me.
I speak to my God know more than ever and I speak clearly and when I am finished speaking, I TRUST that he will grant me the path and things that are best for me. I TRUST that everything will happen for a reason and work out in the end.
It is this relationship with my "God" that started opening doors for me.
I decided to go back to work as a hairstylist...something I am good at and let's me use my creativity without insane pressures placed upon me from employers and corporate standards. Freedom to make people happy, and beautiful, by using my artistic ability on my OWN terms...this is really important to me. I have been back at it for just a short time and I am at peace everyday I am there. It feels good and it feels right and I am grateful for that.
Another door that opened for me was a few career opportunities related to the hair industry. I have been approached about becoming an educator for a specific color line, which is a great honor and an awesome opportunity...I am not sure if I am going to pursue this path or not, but regardless, I know it is an option and it is there if I ever want it. The other opportunity is to take some training in wigs. How to tailor wigs, cut and style wigs, pick then out for people upkeep and so on. I think this sounds good to me. I remember way back when my mom went to get her wig...we went into this fab salon and the owner had a little wig area and provided uncanny service to us both emotionally and superficially...I remember thinking THEN that that was something I would like to do, because it must have been so rewarding for her. I wanted to be the lady who made people feel good in their LOWEST time...this opportunity could be part of my way of giving back and could be a benefit financially as well...I will look further into this option.
Another door...well, the opportunity to be the new "facilitator" of our little local breast cancer support group. This may be an option for me in the coming year, and I think this would be another great way to "give back" and do my part in helping others...there is a lot of new info out there and I would love to share it and bring in some newer members to join us.
Then I was approved for the grant to attend the Young Woman's Breast Cancer Conference in Toronto...need I say more??! The networking possibilities are endless...I would love to come away from that with a job in the field...it would be a dream to be paid to help this cause so near to my heart. Even a chance to help without pay would be great so long as I didn't become overloaded and have it take away from my job and family and support group...balance, balance...
The point is, right now I am content. It is exciting to see all of this opportunity arising for me and I am thankful. I know I am not capable of doing everything and maintaining balance, so I will peek thru each door and trust my God and my gut and know that the doors that are MEANT for me, will be the ones I keep open.
Either way, the odds for me gaining fulfillment are looking pretty darn good right now.
Grateful.
Sounds easy?
Not really...
I went to my first counseling appointment a couple weeks ago.
She asked me why I was there.
I told her..."Because people told me I should get counseling, it's the responsible thing to do...?"
I didn't really feel like I needed to be there...after all, I have blogged from the start, shared EVERYTHING about my breast cancer experience with WHOMEVER would listen to me and I have had a kick-ass support team of family and friends since the very start! I feel like I rode the waves pretty darn good. BUT, people said I should go, that I wouldn't want to think I was ok and have something sneak up on me down the road that I hadn't dealt with...so I went.
It took my counselor and I a while to figure out what my issue was, what my GOAL was, or in other words what my worst fear was that she could help me with (I guess there needs to be a more specific reason to see a counselor than just having HAD breast cancer).
That issue or "worst fear" turned out to be the fear of going back to who I was "pre-cancer" and not taking what I learned from cancer as a gift and applying it to my life.
Basically, all of those "Ah-ha" moments I had, the ones I excitedly blogged about...seeing the beauty in things, slowing down life and appreciating the little things etc etc...well, my fear is I will forget those things. I will slump back into my old life and lose sight of whats important. I am afraid I will stop feeding my soul. I am afraid I will stop getting to know my kids, I am afraid I will start "fretting" over money again, and weight and stupid things that don't really matter!
I freaked out a bit over this fear, for a little while...and then doors started opening for me.
I speak to my God know more than ever and I speak clearly and when I am finished speaking, I TRUST that he will grant me the path and things that are best for me. I TRUST that everything will happen for a reason and work out in the end.
It is this relationship with my "God" that started opening doors for me.
I decided to go back to work as a hairstylist...something I am good at and let's me use my creativity without insane pressures placed upon me from employers and corporate standards. Freedom to make people happy, and beautiful, by using my artistic ability on my OWN terms...this is really important to me. I have been back at it for just a short time and I am at peace everyday I am there. It feels good and it feels right and I am grateful for that.
Another door that opened for me was a few career opportunities related to the hair industry. I have been approached about becoming an educator for a specific color line, which is a great honor and an awesome opportunity...I am not sure if I am going to pursue this path or not, but regardless, I know it is an option and it is there if I ever want it. The other opportunity is to take some training in wigs. How to tailor wigs, cut and style wigs, pick then out for people upkeep and so on. I think this sounds good to me. I remember way back when my mom went to get her wig...we went into this fab salon and the owner had a little wig area and provided uncanny service to us both emotionally and superficially...I remember thinking THEN that that was something I would like to do, because it must have been so rewarding for her. I wanted to be the lady who made people feel good in their LOWEST time...this opportunity could be part of my way of giving back and could be a benefit financially as well...I will look further into this option.
Another door...well, the opportunity to be the new "facilitator" of our little local breast cancer support group. This may be an option for me in the coming year, and I think this would be another great way to "give back" and do my part in helping others...there is a lot of new info out there and I would love to share it and bring in some newer members to join us.
Then I was approved for the grant to attend the Young Woman's Breast Cancer Conference in Toronto...need I say more??! The networking possibilities are endless...I would love to come away from that with a job in the field...it would be a dream to be paid to help this cause so near to my heart. Even a chance to help without pay would be great so long as I didn't become overloaded and have it take away from my job and family and support group...balance, balance...
The point is, right now I am content. It is exciting to see all of this opportunity arising for me and I am thankful. I know I am not capable of doing everything and maintaining balance, so I will peek thru each door and trust my God and my gut and know that the doors that are MEANT for me, will be the ones I keep open.
Either way, the odds for me gaining fulfillment are looking pretty darn good right now.
Grateful.
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