Dream Creator

Dream Creator
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Just a small town Canadian dreamer... This started as the diary of a young woman's experience with breast cancer and continues 5 years later as the diary of a woman, like many other, who has decided to take her lemons and make lemonade. **If reading this blog for the purpose of learning about my breast cancer experience, PLEASE START AT THE OLDEST POST (October 2009) AND WORK YOUR WAY FORWARD**

Saturday, August 7, 2010

It's been over a month now since my surgery and I thought I would update everyone on how I am feeling over all since the chemo, cancer and surgery.
In general I have been feeling the best I have since this year began...
I have a little numbness left on my upper arms, breast area and part of my belly, I get a bit swollen in all of these places, but lately my belly has been swelling the most (with the heat of summer)
Everything is LOOKING great! My incisions are cleaning up nice and fading and the shape of my breast and belly are fantastic!
Overall I can't complain! I was finally able to lay on my belly for a few minutes this morning in bed (my favorite way to sleep!)
Getting up from laying or sitting us easier, but I am still a bit stiff and some positions are just akward.
Reaching my arms is a bit of a challenge still but vastly improving as well.
I must admit the surgery was a success and I don't regret it for a minute, it was a small price to pay for peace of mind and health.

One issue I have been dealing with that has been negatively affecting my life is my inability to cope with stressful situations (or control my emotions)
Early on in my journey I experienced so many enlightening moments that I felt as though I could conquer the world! I truly was able to see the important things in life and understood that I was always sweating the small stuff. I laughed at myself for having done so for so long.
Health was (and IS) the most important thing.
But since then, well, really, since the chemo (more specifically the steroids) I have been a bit of an emotional wreck. I cannot say for sure it is the steroids that caused this, or maybe it is "mental menopause" or maybe it is "frazzled nerves" from the trauma I faced over the last year...
Either way, I am struggling with my "coping" abilities.
When something stressful happens I often find myself having a complete panic attack or melt down. I cry A LOT!
It sucks because it affects my kids and my husband (well, everyone around me I guess). When thinking about stressful things I am ok, I am able to change my thoughts and calm myself. This I have mastered....it's just the times when I am caught off guard in certain situations, or when the stress piles up...that's when I break.
I am currently emailing with a psychologist about these issues and am hoping to resolve them soon....

The only other symptom still remaining to remind me of my cancer is the fatigue.
I find I tire out a lot quicker than I used to.
I find I have to listen to my body regularly and stop what I am doing to rest and recharge. This issue is very common as I have never spoken to someone "post treatment" and them say they didn't deal with fatigue. I know that this too will pass.

So that's about it. I just figured I would fill people in, as I have been getting a lot of emails from people wondering how I was doing.
The fact that I haven't been blogging as much means I am up, feeling good and having fun with my summer!!

I will post soon about my new baby...the 2005 Mini Cooper I just bought myself with my critical illness insurance money. I decided to reward myself for beating cancer. It just so happened we were needing a new vehicle and I have always wanted a Mini, and I know that life is too short sooooo......:)

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