A few weeks ago I was visiting my Mom and Dad in Calgary with the kids in tow.
One night as my six year old daughter and I lay in bed talking she asked me innocently,
"Mommy, do you think I am going to have cancer when I grow up?"
My heart broke, right then and there.
Funny thing, when I told my mom the next morning what she had said, I knew she too felt pain from this question.
My Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in December '06', I was diagnosed December '09'.
I know the day I called my Mom with the news she felt the pain
My Mom and I were both tested for the BCRA genes.
With our family history of breast cancer, there is a bit of a "red flag".
If we test positive for either gene, it greatly increases the chance that other women in our family, including our kids, may have the gene and get breast cancer in their lifetime.
So when Lily asked me that night "Mommy, do you think I will have cancer when I grow up?"
All I could say was "I don't know sweetie, it's hard to know, all you can do is try to live as healthy as you can to try to keep cancer away."
I have explained to her before that exercise and certain foods can fight cancer and that certain things we invite into our life can encourage cancer, but it is a hard conversation to have with a child, because the last thing you want them thinking is that, IF they do get cancer one day, it is their fault. That is something I still struggle with, when I reach for a margarita or a piece of candy, or a bowl of KD.
The bottom line is that cancer affects us all, in one form or another. 50% of all men will get cancer in their lifetime. 1 in 3 women will get cancer in their lifetime.
So I shouldn't feel guilt when my kids ask me about their chances...the chances for ANYONE are far too high.
I guess I am just mad that cancer came into our lives and planted "much too serious" thoughts into my daughter's mind. She should be laying in bed looking out at the moon thinking "Will I be a good mommy one day, or a famous dancer one day?" she most certainly should not be thinking about getting cancer.
SOME STATS:
(from the BCCA website)
-One woman in nine will develop breast cancer in her lifetime if she lives to age 80
-A woman's chance of getting breast cancer is:
-Drinking alcohol is consistently associated with an increased risk of breast cancer. *BOO
-A woman who has a healthy body weight, exercises regularly and who drinks no or only modest amounts of alcohol has a lower risk for breast cancer. A BMI (body mass index) of 18.5 – 24.9 is recommended.
-The overall risk of getting breast cancer in your lifetime if you have a BRCA1 or BRCA2 abnormality is between 50% and 85%. But a BRCA1 abnormality tends to carry a slightly higher risk.
One night as my six year old daughter and I lay in bed talking she asked me innocently,
"Mommy, do you think I am going to have cancer when I grow up?"
My heart broke, right then and there.
Funny thing, when I told my mom the next morning what she had said, I knew she too felt pain from this question.
My Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in December '06', I was diagnosed December '09'.
I know the day I called my Mom with the news she felt the pain
My Mom and I were both tested for the BCRA genes.
With our family history of breast cancer, there is a bit of a "red flag".
If we test positive for either gene, it greatly increases the chance that other women in our family, including our kids, may have the gene and get breast cancer in their lifetime.
So when Lily asked me that night "Mommy, do you think I will have cancer when I grow up?"
All I could say was "I don't know sweetie, it's hard to know, all you can do is try to live as healthy as you can to try to keep cancer away."
I have explained to her before that exercise and certain foods can fight cancer and that certain things we invite into our life can encourage cancer, but it is a hard conversation to have with a child, because the last thing you want them thinking is that, IF they do get cancer one day, it is their fault. That is something I still struggle with, when I reach for a margarita or a piece of candy, or a bowl of KD.
The bottom line is that cancer affects us all, in one form or another. 50% of all men will get cancer in their lifetime. 1 in 3 women will get cancer in their lifetime.
So I shouldn't feel guilt when my kids ask me about their chances...the chances for ANYONE are far too high.
I guess I am just mad that cancer came into our lives and planted "much too serious" thoughts into my daughter's mind. She should be laying in bed looking out at the moon thinking "Will I be a good mommy one day, or a famous dancer one day?" she most certainly should not be thinking about getting cancer.
SOME STATS:
(from the BCCA website)
-One woman in nine will develop breast cancer in her lifetime if she lives to age 80
-A woman's chance of getting breast cancer is:
- age 30 - 39 . . . . 0.43 % (often shown as 1 in 233) * I wish my lottery odds were as good*
- age 40 - 49 . . . . 1.44 % (often shown as 1 in 69)
- age 50 - 59 . . . . 2.63 % (often shown as 1 in 38)
- age 60 - 69 . . . . 3.65 % (often shown as 1 in 27)
-Drinking alcohol is consistently associated with an increased risk of breast cancer. *BOO
-A woman who has a healthy body weight, exercises regularly and who drinks no or only modest amounts of alcohol has a lower risk for breast cancer. A BMI (body mass index) of 18.5 – 24.9 is recommended.
-The overall risk of getting breast cancer in your lifetime if you have a BRCA1 or BRCA2 abnormality is between 50% and 85%. But a BRCA1 abnormality tends to carry a slightly higher risk.
-A woman’s lifetime risk of developing breast and/or ovarian cancer is greatly increased if she inherits a harmful mutation in BRCA1 or BRCA2. Such a woman has an increased risk of developing breast and/or ovarian cancer at an early age (before menopause) and often has multiple, close family members who have been diagnosed with these diseases. Harmful BRCA1 mutations may also increase a woman’s risk of developing cervical, uterine, pancreatic, and colon cancer (1, 2). Harmful BRCA2 mutations may additionally increase the risk of pancreatic cancer, stomach cancer, gallbladder and bile duct cancer, and melanoma (3).
-Men with harmful BRCA1 mutations also have an increased risk of breast cancer and, possibly, of pancreatic cancer, testicular cancer, and early-onset prostate cancer. However, male breast cancer, pancreatic cancer, and prostate cancer appear to be more strongly associated with BRCA2 gene mutations
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