So I have been waiting for a phone interview with my oncologist in Kelowna to discuss whether or not I should take HRT and remove my uterus. I am hoping she basically tells me a yes or no on the subject as I am finding it is as hard as ever to make decisions. I can't even decide what to make for dinner let a lone a decision that could affect my life span. I am thinking I am leaning towards the full meal deal. I would like to try to avoid cardiovascular disease and osteoporosis as best I can.
So the other day marked my one year anniversary of my diagnosis. The day I drove to Trail (an hour away) with my dogs and kid in tow, thinking I was clear of cancer only to be told I wasn't.
Officially the worst day of my life. BAR NONE.
Ironically this date brought me back to Trail as I was doing some work for Selkirk college in the area. AND Ironically I was at the chemo room in Trail that day, dropping off business cards for my new wig business I have opened up here in Nelson.
Anyway, the day had a weird vibe for sure. It was a long day. I drove around the koots for six hours visiting salons for work and it gave me a lot of time to think about where the year has taken me. In general I believe I am in a better place now than I was a year ago. However it is something I have to work at. reminding myself of where I've been and what I have been through to keep me in the right frame of mind and to keep me positive and grateful.
After my 6 hour drive I worked at the salon for 6 hours on clients. It was exhausting.
During my last client, when I had put all of her foils in and she was "processing" I went into our staff room and checked my cell phone. There was a message from my mom.
She was crying I could tell.
I called her back and she said
"Megan it's back."
right away I knew what that meant.
She had found a lump in her armpit weeks earlier and had it biopsied. I guess her results were in.
In the summer when we found out we had the BRCA1 gene, I mentioned to my mom she should think about having a mastectomy. I knew her recurrence rate was high.
she mentioned she would continue to screen and then I said "Screening is great but it won't prevent you from getting cancer again, and ultimately if you get it again, you HAVE to go through treatment again, no matter how early you are diagnosed."
My mom was contemplating a prophylactic mastectomy when she was re diagnosed.
So here we sit.
Same as before....
Christmas is coming, and someone has cancer...
My sister just had a baby and someone has cancer...
it is all too familiar.
(my mom's first diagnosis was in December and my sister was pregnant, my diagnosis was a day before my sister's b-day...December 3 and my mom's new diagnosis was a day before my sister's b-day December 3...5 days before my sister's baby was born...significance?)
My heart aches again.
It aches for my mom and it aches for my dad
it aches for my sister and my son and my daughter and my husband.
We will be saddling up again,
like it or not,
we have another bumpy ride to take.
So the other day marked my one year anniversary of my diagnosis. The day I drove to Trail (an hour away) with my dogs and kid in tow, thinking I was clear of cancer only to be told I wasn't.
Officially the worst day of my life. BAR NONE.
Ironically this date brought me back to Trail as I was doing some work for Selkirk college in the area. AND Ironically I was at the chemo room in Trail that day, dropping off business cards for my new wig business I have opened up here in Nelson.
Anyway, the day had a weird vibe for sure. It was a long day. I drove around the koots for six hours visiting salons for work and it gave me a lot of time to think about where the year has taken me. In general I believe I am in a better place now than I was a year ago. However it is something I have to work at. reminding myself of where I've been and what I have been through to keep me in the right frame of mind and to keep me positive and grateful.
After my 6 hour drive I worked at the salon for 6 hours on clients. It was exhausting.
During my last client, when I had put all of her foils in and she was "processing" I went into our staff room and checked my cell phone. There was a message from my mom.
She was crying I could tell.
I called her back and she said
"Megan it's back."
right away I knew what that meant.
She had found a lump in her armpit weeks earlier and had it biopsied. I guess her results were in.
In the summer when we found out we had the BRCA1 gene, I mentioned to my mom she should think about having a mastectomy. I knew her recurrence rate was high.
she mentioned she would continue to screen and then I said "Screening is great but it won't prevent you from getting cancer again, and ultimately if you get it again, you HAVE to go through treatment again, no matter how early you are diagnosed."
My mom was contemplating a prophylactic mastectomy when she was re diagnosed.
So here we sit.
Same as before....
Christmas is coming, and someone has cancer...
My sister just had a baby and someone has cancer...
it is all too familiar.
(my mom's first diagnosis was in December and my sister was pregnant, my diagnosis was a day before my sister's b-day...December 3 and my mom's new diagnosis was a day before my sister's b-day December 3...5 days before my sister's baby was born...significance?)
My heart aches again.
It aches for my mom and it aches for my dad
it aches for my sister and my son and my daughter and my husband.
We will be saddling up again,
like it or not,
we have another bumpy ride to take.
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